It doesn't get any better than this

OK, we've been running this ENGInE malarky now for over a year. I'd like to say it's been plain sailing, a bed of roses, a piece of cake, but if I did I would be lying.

We've launched all markets.....woohoo! We converted some South Americans, Romania is on the horizon and Turkey is expressing an interest.

Actually on that last point I'm a bit miffed. The lovely people from Turkey are flying over to talk turkey with us about ENGInE. I wanted to spend as much time as I could with them on the Monday/Tuesday that they're in the UK. They are coming over on a Tuesday, arriving at 1:00pm. I leave on Tuesdays at 2:30pm. I have one and a half hours to "sell" ENGInE. I mean I know I'm good (all modesty aside) but 90 minutes is simply inadequate.

We're launching a few new sites within Europe before the end of the year too.

The problem I have is that I'm not satisfied with the site. I want to change this, that and the other but I have no budget. This is beyond frustrating. And the problem with work-related frustration is that it's the prime cause of work-related stress.

Maybe I need a dose of flu.

Enough

I've had enough. I just want the project to be over now.

Launch dates slip through my fingers more easily than sand.

The Irish team are demonstrating an admirable level of patience that I will never achieve.

I feel as though every hour that passes brings with it a new problem or issue.

I'm mentally exhausted. My days are filled with too much emotion. There are highs and lows but it's the frustration that is so terribly draining. I'd love to leave work at work but I can't.

I felt I needed an escape, so I went to yoga tonight. As the group was relaxing I was thinking about problems and potential solutions, bugs, screw ups, issues, deadlines and priorities.

My colleagues are sick of me. My family are living with a monster. I struggle to see who the winners are.

I want it to end. I want the vision that we had all that time ago to be a reality. Almost there isn't good enough.